A phoenix represents rebirth, magic, safety, transformation, permanence, inventiveness and sacredness of life. Rising from darkness into light…
As with all, I have reflected on 2022 and what a year it was! It started going one direction then it took a sharp right turn in a completely different direction. I am okay with that because I learned so much more about myself. I gave up fears and accepted realities. I challenged myself to stop procrastinating and moved forward with my dreams and aspirations. It reminded me of a quote ” The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson. Well… now it’s time.
I am titaling 2023 “My Phoenix Year!” I am going to touch on each representation of a phoenix and how it represents something in my life or where I see this year going. It’s already day twenty-five of 2023 and things are already changing. I think it is funny how we celebrate a new year when we have the previous years crap still trailing us, like we expect January 1st to have this mega reset button to clean the slate… we need to stop, look around and see what we are going to do with all that stuff and how to reroute it, then make the reset happen. I never make resolutions. Goals are important to have if they are attainable ones. I don’t set myself up to fail, so I usually keep things to myself, that way if I don’t make it, no one else knows I have failed. Now onto the task at hand. Writing, what I do best.
Rebirth: to be reborn, first we need to die. “Dying to self” biblically states that the old self dies and the new self comes to life, we take up our cross and follow Christ. dying to self is part of the process of sanctification. Therefore, dying to self is a one time event and a lifelong process. Mythology, a phoenix, bursting in flames from its predecessor, keeps rising from the ashes over and over. I feel like that every year. my little beak at the beginning of a new year just peaking up out of the ash once again. I have had to die to self once again and now waiting to see where I need to go from here. I look forward to that moment of stretching my wings fully and shaking off the old ash and start anew.
Magic:There is nothing more magical than a grandchild! Seeing the world through his sweet, innocent eyes. All things are new and exciting. I want to see through those eyes again. I want this year to be full of days with him and be in the moment, not stressing about the things that bog these old eyes down. I’m still young and want to enjoy every moment I can with him. He makes life so fun. Yes, the best magic is that grandbaby.
Safety: It is said that a phoenix has the ability to lift strong trees and fly great distances. Their wings can be protective shields and they have the power of regeneration. They do have weakness, like all living things. An arrow can take it out and it is afraid of heights and will not fly too high for fear of falling. HAHA! I have that same fear! But knowing that a warm hug or being wrapped in a shield to protect is reassuring. Now I am not expecting a real life bird to come out of nowhere and do all these things, obiously. I am speaking metaphorically. I’m not that crazy. I think of my family and my friends when I think of this. I have a great support system around me, who I love and adore. I see them all in this role. Nurses and docotors that I need are part of that ‘regeneration” roll, they are not going to magically replace my limbs but they are there to get me where I need to be. At least the new ones I’m seeking will. I hope. But it is nice to know that even a mythical bird has a weakness because we all have weakness in us.
Transformation: A radical change… This year I have to make new decisions that will affect me from now to my future. I spent four days in the hospital for something that should have been addressed a long time ago. I learned that an issue I thought was one thing ended up being completely different, yet part of my disability. confusing I know. When I think of transformation, I think of physical transformation. In this case, not so. My transformation is more psychological. I have finally come to terms with the reality that I need external help. I cannot live in my family home, I need to find resources and ask for help. Something that is not easy for me to do. I have had to admit to myself my hang-ups about things. i.e. just because i’m the oldest daughter, it’s my job to make sure my mom is cared for. She is a healty sixty-seven year old woman who has her own things going on… she doesn’t need me, plus I have two brothers that are here to help… and do! It’s time for me to live my life and not worry about being available for my adult kids. They are fine! It is time for me to take care of me. I got nothing else to give, pretty empty. Hence, dying to self!
Permanence: dependability, continuance, fixity. I think this one will have to wait. I am not there, yet. I think once I have my new place to live in and have the recources in place, then this particular representation will come to me.
Inventiveness: This one isn’t too hard. I have been loving the fact that on Dec. 31, 2022 my first novella was published through Amazon Kindle. I have enjoyed writitng all year and making that dream come true. I have learned that I can accomplish something if I really set my mind to it. That’s a huge catalyst for 2023. To keep that writing momentum going. I also fell in love with Diamond Art, something to pull me away from the chaos of every day life and focus on a different type of art. Taking me out of my headspace. I still love to read and enjoy my music, so plenty to keep me occupied.
Sacredness of life: The phoenix really is a unique symbol. it’s interesting to round out with this, but it makes sense. If we die to self and are reborn, being able to sustain life and how we live it really says a lot about how we want to reset our new year. I need to really understand what this means. I was researching this topic and there is a lot! Like lists on how to sustain and live a sacred life; whether religiously or other means…I will choose my faith, My devotions and My Bible for the answers I seek.
I see myself rising and rising. NO more darkness, only light. I know it isn’t going to be easy and I will stumble a few times, but thankfully I know I can rise above it and will soar, eventually. I will shake of the ashes and be reborn. I am looking forward to 2023.