Falling Away Part I

Innocence

Matthew 18:1-5 “Unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

I had an idea for a piece but I didn’t have all my thoughts together until this past Sunday. It was my second Sunday back in the pews of church. I realized I needed the last two Sundays to finish my thought process, to clear my head space, and to get past the anger in my heart. I had to wait for it to be in His time, not mine.

It wasn’t a normal Sunday, the church was doing something fun, Christmas in July with a dinner and a sweet treat for us all. A special six year old and a piano solo. It’s times like these I know I’m in the right place at the right time. Music has always spoken to me and today was no different. As that little girl bravely and proudly made her way to the piano with her instructor by her side, her family following her to the front of the church to lend their support. She held her sheet music to her chest while her golden curls bounced around her shoulders. She climbed on that bench as if she had done it so many times before. The first chord was strong and went to the core of my being, emotions hit me and I immediately started to cry. Not even knowing what the song was yet, because her sweet little voice could barely be heard over the power in her hands, but once she softened her hands she sang “Amazing Grace” to her hearts content. She stumbled a bit as she is only six, like I said, but her instructor was right there to guide her. She was swallowed up by the size of the baby grand yet I think she felt her families love and support because she kept on playing like a little Beethoven. No fear. It was magical and not a dry eye in the room when she finished. The little church erupted into applause, she stepped down from her perch and smiled a huge smile.

Childlike faith, innocence.

I am reminded over and over how I am still a child of a wonderful, forgiving and loving Father who has always been by my side. I keep letting the heavy world beat me down. I have people tell me that the only reason “people like me” choose faith and the Bible is because I need something to take my mind off my inadequacies. The Bible is just a moral compass filled with feel good stories to get me through a bad day. I laugh because obviously there is more to it than that or there wouldn’t be so many out there trying to discount or break apart those who believe. I mean why would those others need to exist if God didn’t?” There are others smarter than me that can go down that rabbit hole. I call it the “teenage rebellion” stage. Where I have let the world sneak in and take away my childlike wonder. This four part piece is my testimony. Me finally letting it out and telling my story, to understand what is to come. I hope you enjoy…